Chronicles of Downton Abbey: A New Era

Last week I bought The Chronicles of Downton Abbey: A New Era for my friend, Anne for her birthday...and can tell you that it is FANTASTIC.  I gave it to her yesterday...and once she opened it, I knew I had to have it!  You have to be careful because it's chock full of Season 3 spoilers...but it's absolutely stunning and well worth $19!!!

Season 3: Sneak Peek!

Thanks so much to Tonya for sending this GEM!!!  November 25th!  Mark your calendars!

TREMENDOUS New Season 3 Trailer

Dan Stevens In 'The Heiress': 'Downton Abbey' Actor To Make Broadway Debut

Dan Stevens In 'The Heiress': 'Downton Abbey' Actor To Make Broadway Debut:

'via Blog this'

Shit The Dowager Countess Says

The Fresh Prince of Downton

Downton Arby's

Downton Abbey Paper Dolls

Belinda, Cari and Terry have all emailed me about these hilarious Downton Abbey paper dolls.  I am still laughing!

The best are O'Brien and Thomas.  The fact that O'Brien comes with a hockey mask almost made me soil my pantalones.

Enjoy!

Ghosts of the Past

Yesterday, I got an email from Julia about this incredible article.  It lists massive estates in England that were torn down, only to be replaced by office buildings, golf courses, etc. 

This is one of the best articles I've seen in a long time.  It's devastating, isn't it?  Makes me want to win the lottery and go to Britain and buy some dilapidated old castle and restore it.  Actually - I wish I could do that here in the US.  

I was in Buck Hill Falls, PA yesterday in the Poconos with my family...and when we're there we always drive by the old "Buck Hill Inn".  In its heyday, it was like a Downton Abbey in the US...except it was a hotel, run by a massive amount of staff.  Celebrities and presidents stayed there over the years...but now it's completely dilapidated and so sad to see.  There are always groups trying to raise money to restore it...but no one ever does.  There is a website with info about what they'd like to do but I guess they need a lot more money.  Hopefully, they'll find it.  Maybe I'll win the lottery.

Jewish Princesses Can Learn from Downton Abbey!

Holy hell - I had quite a fun laugh at this hilarious article.  Thanks so much to Julia for sending it in.  Whether you're Jewish or not - it is tremendously amusing!

Absolutely Delicious!

Oh. My. LORDY BE.  Last night's (unbelievably long and entertaining) Downton Abbey was a treasure.  A hilarious, borderline stupid, delicious episode that I will be thinking about until next week's much anticipated season finale.

WHERE to begin??  Seriously.  I don't even know what to say.  Lavinia, you bitch.  I couldn't STAND your annoying ass...until you up and DIED on us.  Then, things changed.  No, wait...when you walked in on Matthew kissing Mary (but only seemed to notice them dancing)...THAT is when things changed.  I started to feel bad for you.  And when you told him to "be happy" as you took your last breath, I REALLY felt bad for you.  And when he told Mary to kiss the hell off because he felt so horrendous over your death....oooooh girlllllll...I felt GREAT for you!

That damned Mary.  Just when I think she's a good girl, she does something SO obnoxious and rude.  Here's Anna - risking her job to inform Mrs. Hughes and Carson about Richard's obnoxious offer...and what how does Mary thank her?  "You really should have come to me!"  BITCH, PLEASE.  Are you KIDDING me?!?  You are a spoiled, selfish brat.  Yes - I love you, because you are one willowy chickie in those gorgeous dresses and that tremendously "Honey Badger Don't Care!" attitude.  But sometimes I can't STAND you...which makes for extremely yummy TV.

OK so am I the only one who laughs now every time someone tells Carson "I know how fond you are of Lady Mary"??  They must have said it 15 times last night!  It's almost to the point of being good fodder for a drinking game!  When Grantham says it, you only drink once (because he says it 5 times an episode).  But when Cora or Mrs. Hughes say it, you drink three times.  And if someone like O'Brien was to say it?  That would be a clear 30 second chug, for sure.

Moving on...Oh Sybil.  WHAT is your deal?  We can ALL see the writing on the wall where her Irish driver is concerned.  Girlfriend is going to get her ass to Dublin, work for about 48 seconds, and say "I wanna wear my sandals...I wanna go out to lunch.  I wanna be normal again" and hightail it right back to Downton.  I hate to be negative...but I'm half Irish.  I know of which I speak.  I LOVE me some Dublin, but my family never lived in a castle with 72 bathrooms.  Dublin is lovely to me.  But to Sybil?  Hmmmm.  She is NOT going to be happy washing her own knickers and wearing them to (Catholic) mass every Sunday...and then coming home and cooking the brisket, herself.  Wait and see.

NEXT...Sigh...Oh Edith.  I've got nothin' for you this week...which pretty much sums up your sad little existence.  What are you going to do when both Mary and Sybil are out of the house?  You'll have no one to make snide remarks about behind their backs.  Not that you do that to Sybil...but I've no doubt you will.  Give it time.

NEXT...Anna and Mr. Bates.  Oh. My. God.  Tell me THAT wouldn't win the big, golden popcorn award over at MTV for being the most UNCOMFORTABLE bedroom scene EVER!!  To quote Tracey:  "If I never see another bedroom scene with Mr. Bates again, it'll be too soon."  LORDDDDDDD is she right.  I turned to my husband and said "HOW long do you think it took them to set this scene?!?"  Because neither of them moved!

I am going to stop right there before I say something that isn't so nice.  Lordddddddddddd Mr. Bates.  And I LOVE Mr. Bates...lest anyone forget.  Ever seen him in real life?  He's gorgeous in that "I used to be a very tasty tuna back in my 20s" kind of way.

The only reason I care that the previous Mrs. Bates is no longer around is that I love Maria Doyle Kennedy since her days on The Tudors.  I know I've used the word "Delicious" one too many times in this post but I have to use it again, because she is delicious in everything she does!  Deliciously sweet or deliciously evil; it doesn't matter.  I miss the heck outta her Catherine of Aragon, I can tell you that.  (And for you fellow "Tudors" fans...I was lucky enough to briefly meet Annabelle Wallis - aka Jane Seymour - recently.  Holy crap - she's even more stunning in real life.)

NEXT...Thomas.  OH my god he was fantastic last night when he found out all of his goods were fake.  LOVED the mess.  And loved the sucking up at Downton even more.  I hope Carson isn't fooled; he's so after his job.

Lines That Were So Good I Stopped Mid-Episode To Write Them Down:


"Unbridled joy" - Oh holy hell.  I found myself hoping upon hope that Hildy, Cari and Jennifer J were watching.  That just reeked of "Unflagging joy".  TOO hilarious.

"I know how fond you are of Lady Mary."  I've already covered this but had to mention it again.  Why not?  THEY do.  Every five seconds.

"Don't be defeatest, dear, it's very middle class."  Maggie Smith deserves every possible award for her snarkiness on this show.  I could watch her all day long.

"Can you manage without your stick?"  "You are my stick."  Oh. My. GOD that was amazing.  I am SO FRIGGIN HAPPY Matthew and Mary are finally getting together.  Well...sort of.  She is SO effed with Richard.  She's going to have to kill him.  Seriously.  Somebody better go fetch the rat poison at Ex. Mrs. (dead) Bates' house.

Last minute add-ons:

Poor Cora.  Is there nothing else she can do but writhe around with fever?  Two hours and she barely spoke!

O'Brien.  Damn, girl!  Are you an idiot?!  Shut the hell UP about the soap!!  Go to confession and call it a day!!

Matthew's mom:  Lorddddddd somebody shut her up.  She is on my LAST nerve.

I miss William.  Daisy needs to stop being such a baby and talk nicely about him to his dad.  Is it THAT hard?  She WAS his good friend, wasn't she?  I totally agreed with her before about them pushing her into doing something she wasn't comfortable with.  But that adorable fellow is dead now, girlie!  Just go with it!!!

OK that's it for now.  But I'm sure I'll think of something else before this night is over.  Stay tuned...

Saturday Night Live Hilarity

Give Peace a Chance

SPOILER ALERT:  Don't watch unless you've watched episode 5 on PBS or 6 in the UK.

OMG dying dying dying!  Matthew felt his leg!  Squeee!  I knew that was going to happen.  Poor Mary.  She is ridiculously screwed.  And so am I.  Because I'm realizing that NOTHING is ever going to get resolved on this show.  Ever.  It's like infinity blueballs.  Seriously.  WHAT am I going to do if Mary is forever engaged to Mr. "Don't ever blow me off or I'll tell the world your sad little Turkish secret."  And what if she never marries Matthew?  I can't BELIEVE they brought that pain in the ass Lavinia back again, too.  Ugh...she gives me the willies.  And frankly, I'm starting to think she gives Matthew the willies, too.  Poor Mary. (I can't believe I just said that!)  She must be SOOOO miserable but she can't show it because she's English and they don't wear their hearts on their sleeves.  (Well, unless you're Elizabeth Taylor...and then you just marry your sleeve.  Lord-a-mercy on her of course!)

But seriously, WHAT am I going to do if Mr. Bates doesn't marry Anna?  (Although I don't think I have to worry as the Ex Mrs. Bates is lying face down in the teacup pieces.)  And WHAT am I going to do if Edith never finds a man?  (Even one with a disfigured face whose hatred of their childhood German nanny is still questionable).  And what am I going to do if Sybil never dumps that insufferable Irish driver who can't be on the screen for two seconds without making me throw up in my mouth a little.

Moving on...I love how Thomas has resumed his spot downstairs at the staff table...like nothing ever happened and he didn't purposely turn his hand into a donut.  He just sits there with that nasty assed look on his face, mumbling under his breath and chain smoking.  It's so hilarious, I don't know what to do with myself.

Lastly - MaMa.  OMG Maggie Smith is the greatest actress of all time, is she not?  I pray they get Helen Mirren and Dame Judy Dench on the show one of these days to be her BFFs and make me giggle in triplicate.

I'm All Caught Up!

SPOILER ALERT:  Don't read unless you've finished Season 2 - Episode 4 (or three if you count the first two episodes as one.) 

Oh my god!  We just finished!  I am beside myself!  Thank God it's actually on tomorrow night because I don't know what I would do with myself if I couldn't check in with Anna and Mr. Bates...Edith...Violet...and the rest of the gang.

It's always "Lady Mary,
Lady Mary, Lady Mary!" 

Geez - I haven't blogged since Season 1!  Can you believe all these men are convalescing at Downton?!  It's crazy!  (Said like Honey Badger Randall)  They are all OVER the place!  You'd think Jan Edith - would be able to land herself a man in those kinds of conditions!  Girlfriend must need a shower or something.  Seriously now...she's all up in their bizznazz with their letters ("this one's open but no one opened it, I swear"...wink wink... "By the way, how's your mother doing in Lancashire?  And the Corgis?)  I just don't see why SHE isn't the one Mrs. Hughes is pulling off the floor in Spare Bedroom Number 17.  It's raining men, honey!  Whatcha waitin' for?!

I have to admit - I did love it when she was recognized for being so good with the patients.  She deserves to be noticed once in a while...instead of Marcia Lady Mary - lest she find herself down at the farm, lovin' up on someone else's non-tractor-driving husband.

OK Next...Lady Maaaaary.  Bitch, PLEASE!  You are beside yourself because Matthew's MIA (for what it's worth, I would be too.  Yum.)  and then he shows up and you're all  "Oh hello cousin.  I'm glad to see you.  Want to see the china pattern I've picked out with Sir Richard?"  Come ON ALREADY!  Just pull his ass into the broom closet (or Mrs. Hughes' sitting room, as everything seems to go on in there) and tell him how you feel!!  It's obvious he loves you...what are you WAITING for?!?

Where ya runnin' off to
this week, Mr. Bates? 

Moving on...I am SO glad Mr. Bates is back.  I was beyond upset when he left and thinking "Ummmm...has he taken another valet job on another show?!"  His wife is despicable and I hope we get to see her rude awakening soon.  Why don't they just throw her in the staff quarters with O'Brien and Thomas Sergeant Barrow?  They'd have her yelling "Uncle" in no time.  You KNOW she's going to bring her ass back to Downton and start blabbing and blackmailing in a matter of episodes.  I fear poor Anna is destined to be without Bates for all of eternity.

And what's up with Sybil?  There seem to be no redeeming qualities in Branson, other than the fact that he professes his love for her every five seconds.  Is it me or do they have ZERO chemistry together?  Ugh.  And every time he starts whining about joining the effort in Ireland, I need a Tums.  And I'm Irish!!  I just don't see Sybil running off with him...but stranger things have happened.

LORDDDDD stranger things have happened.

Please don't die at war or
I'll feel even more guilty! 

Like - for instance - Daisy's mute stare every time William tells her she's his girl.  It's SO uncomfortable, I want to crawl under my couch!  And Mrs. Patmore seems to be right there - every stinkin' time - with a hand full of pate and an eyeful of "Don't you dare tell him the truth or I'll beat ya with my rolling pin, lass!"

And Violet.  Holy hell.  She makes me laugh SO hard.  Today's hilarious commentary was the following, whilst discussing Sir Richard's blackmailing of Lavinia's uncle:

Mary:   He lives in a tough world.

Violet:  And will you be joining him there?

I swear, I laugh so hard at everything that comes out of Maggie Smith's mouth...I wish I could zap myself into Downton and sit next to her at dinner.  I'd keep my mouth shut and my eyes and ears open, that is for sure. 

Batshit crazy?
Nah...Just American.

Lastly - Cora.  Is it me, or does she seem like she's one foot into the funny farm at all times?  When the show first started, I thought she was sick because she never comes down to breakfast and was always laying around in her dressing gown having meals in bed.  But now she's always around - dressed to the nines - and smiling uncomfortably no matter whether Carson is brushing MyLord's shoulders or Mrs. Byrd is feeding the veterans with the Army's money.  No matter - girlfriend is smiling.  I wish I could ask Lafayette from True Blood what he thought of her.  "That sista be one crazy bitch, Hooka".  Can't you just hear him now?!

OK - more soon...tomorrow night, actually!  TGIS!!!!

Funniest. Line. Ever!

Cora:  He's got to let the maids serve in the dining room.

Robert: Quite right.  There is a war. 

Uptown Downstairs Abbey

Thanks to Lady Oliver for sending me this absolutely HILARIOUS Downton Abbey Season 1 parody.  BEYOND funny.  The fact that "Patsy" and "Eddy" from Absolutely Fabulous are in it totally made my day.  Enjoy!

Episode 5 and Counting...

How the hell are we going to get back if he leaves?

Oh my GOD.  I just finished Episode 5 of Downton Abbey and am already suffering withdrawal just THINKING about the day I've watched them all!

First off - Thomas and O'Brien are such complete asses, I don't know what to DO with myself!  I am SO HAPPY Bates beat them at their own game and found the blue snuff box.  The look on their faces was PRICELESS when Anna spoke up about Carson and Mrs. Hughes checking their rooms.

OK next - EDITH! EDITH! EDITH!  That poor soul!  Every week I wait and wait for someone to fall for her.  It's so upsetting, watching her fight with le beotch, "Lady Mary".   That one ain't no lady, that's for sure.

Couldn't resist posting a pic of an
even younger Mr. Bates.  Yum. 

And speaking of waiting - I can't BELIEVE Anna just told Mr. Bates she LOVES him!  I thought my husband's eyes were going to bug out of his head!  We both just stared at each other!  It was AWESOME!  I love Mr. Bates and Anna so much and I can't wait to find out what his secret is.  I am hoping upon hope for a huge to-do when he finally professes his love for her...although I doubt it will ever happen...because what will they do with them then?  But can't you just see it...her - or him - stealing away to the other's room...her in her nightgown and him in his gentleman jammies?  I suppose she'd have to do the stealing away as he has his own room.

What else?  Oh Crawley.  I feel bad for him but he's such a dud.  He's pining away for Mary and it's getting pretty old.  She's such a bitch - and frankly, I dislike the fact that he's so shallow where Edith is concerned.  She's lovely; he should see that.

I vant to suck your blood...
and I'm not even a vampire!

And again - Edith - Lorddddddddd Edith.  Girlfriend heard Mary's entire conversation with her mother - in addition to talking with Daisy - and is now writing a letter to the hot,  dead, Turkish guy's dad!  Mr. Pamuk.   Damn he was gorgeous, was he not?  Seems a shame to off him after one episode!

Dear BBC and Kilwillie,
One favor:  FLASHBACKS!
Love, Carol.

Sybil is a cutie pie - I love that she's helping Gwen get a job.  And I love her positive outlook on life.  I hope it works...eventually.  LOVED her pants.  She's got MOXY.

And poor William.  He loves Daisy...and she's so stupid.  How can she not see what an ASS Thomas is?  Forget the fact that he's batting for the wrong team...he's just a douche who would be so beneath her...even if he was straight!  If she were smart (guess that's the problem, now, isn't it?) she would take up with William and have a lovely life of service with a smile.  :)

I love Isobel...and what is so strange is that she reminds me of my Aunt Isobel in many ways.  I thought of that before I even realized what her name was.  I always just refer to her as "Crawley's mom".  She is just so insightful...and so much good comes from her all the time.  I wish I could spend a week with her in that cute house, drinking Molesly's tea and benefiting from her wisdom.

"I have plenty of
friends I don't like."

And last but not least, Maggie Smith. Oh my god she just gave Mr. Molesly the prize for the best roses.   I knew that old bag had some good in her somewhere.  I cried real tears when she did that.

God there is something of value in every, single episode!  Every time I watch, I learn something about myself...and those around me.  And I feel...I really FEEL - while I'm watching every episode.  That is a rare treat indeed.