Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Downton Abbey Paper Dolls

Belinda, Cari and Terry have all emailed me about these hilarious Downton Abbey paper dolls.  I am still laughing!

The best are O'Brien and Thomas.  The fact that O'Brien comes with a hockey mask almost made me soil my pantalones.


Saturday, February 18, 2012

Ghosts of the Past

Yesterday, I got an email from Julia about this incredible article.  It lists massive estates in England that were torn down, only to be replaced by office buildings, golf courses, etc. 

This is one of the best articles I've seen in a long time.  It's devastating, isn't it?  Makes me want to win the lottery and go to Britain and buy some dilapidated old castle and restore it.  Actually - I wish I could do that here in the US.  

I was in Buck Hill Falls, PA yesterday in the Poconos with my family...and when we're there we always drive by the old "Buck Hill Inn".  In its heyday, it was like a Downton Abbey in the US...except it was a hotel, run by a massive amount of staff.  Celebrities and presidents stayed there over the years...but now it's completely dilapidated and so sad to see.  There are always groups trying to raise money to restore it...but no one ever does.  There is a website with info about what they'd like to do but I guess they need a lot more money.  Hopefully, they'll find it.  Maybe I'll win the lottery.

Jewish Princesses Can Learn from Downton Abbey!

Holy hell - I had quite a fun laugh at this hilarious article.  Thanks so much to Julia for sending it in.  Whether you're Jewish or not - it is tremendously amusing!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Absolutely Delicious!

Oh. My. LORDY BE.  Last night's (unbelievably long and entertaining) Downton Abbey was a treasure.  A hilarious, borderline stupid, delicious episode that I will be thinking about until next week's much anticipated season finale.

WHERE to begin??  Seriously.  I don't even know what to say.  Lavinia, you bitch.  I couldn't STAND your annoying ass...until you up and DIED on us.  Then, things changed.  No, wait...when you walked in on Matthew kissing Mary (but only seemed to notice them dancing)...THAT is when things changed.  I started to feel bad for you.  And when you told him to "be happy" as you took your last breath, I REALLY felt bad for you.  And when he told Mary to kiss the hell off because he felt so horrendous over your death....oooooh girlllllll...I felt GREAT for you!

That damned Mary.  Just when I think she's a good girl, she does something SO obnoxious and rude.  Here's Anna - risking her job to inform Mrs. Hughes and Carson about Richard's obnoxious offer...and what how does Mary thank her?  "You really should have come to me!"  BITCH, PLEASE.  Are you KIDDING me?!?  You are a spoiled, selfish brat.  Yes - I love you, because you are one willowy chickie in those gorgeous dresses and that tremendously "Honey Badger Don't Care!" attitude.  But sometimes I can't STAND you...which makes for extremely yummy TV.

OK so am I the only one who laughs now every time someone tells Carson "I know how fond you are of Lady Mary"??  They must have said it 15 times last night!  It's almost to the point of being good fodder for a drinking game!  When Grantham says it, you only drink once (because he says it 5 times an episode).  But when Cora or Mrs. Hughes say it, you drink three times.  And if someone like O'Brien was to say it?  That would be a clear 30 second chug, for sure.

Moving on...Oh Sybil.  WHAT is your deal?  We can ALL see the writing on the wall where her Irish driver is concerned.  Girlfriend is going to get her ass to Dublin, work for about 48 seconds, and say "I wanna wear my sandals...I wanna go out to lunch.  I wanna be normal again" and hightail it right back to Downton.  I hate to be negative...but I'm half Irish.  I know of which I speak.  I LOVE me some Dublin, but my family never lived in a castle with 72 bathrooms.  Dublin is lovely to me.  But to Sybil?  Hmmmm.  She is NOT going to be happy washing her own knickers and wearing them to (Catholic) mass every Sunday...and then coming home and cooking the brisket, herself.  Wait and see.

NEXT...Sigh...Oh Edith.  I've got nothin' for you this week...which pretty much sums up your sad little existence.  What are you going to do when both Mary and Sybil are out of the house?  You'll have no one to make snide remarks about behind their backs.  Not that you do that to Sybil...but I've no doubt you will.  Give it time.

NEXT...Anna and Mr. Bates.  Oh. My. God.  Tell me THAT wouldn't win the big, golden popcorn award over at MTV for being the most UNCOMFORTABLE bedroom scene EVER!!  To quote Tracey:  "If I never see another bedroom scene with Mr. Bates again, it'll be too soon."  LORDDDDDDD is she right.  I turned to my husband and said "HOW long do you think it took them to set this scene?!?"  Because neither of them moved!

I am going to stop right there before I say something that isn't so nice.  Lordddddddddddd Mr. Bates.  And I LOVE Mr. Bates...lest anyone forget.  Ever seen him in real life?  He's gorgeous in that "I used to be a very tasty tuna back in my 20s" kind of way.

The only reason I care that the previous Mrs. Bates is no longer around is that I love Maria Doyle Kennedy since her days on The Tudors.  I know I've used the word "Delicious" one too many times in this post but I have to use it again, because she is delicious in everything she does!  Deliciously sweet or deliciously evil; it doesn't matter.  I miss the heck outta her Catherine of Aragon, I can tell you that.  (And for you fellow "Tudors" fans...I was lucky enough to briefly meet Annabelle Wallis - aka Jane Seymour - recently.  Holy crap - she's even more stunning in real life.)

NEXT...Thomas.  OH my god he was fantastic last night when he found out all of his goods were fake.  LOVED the mess.  And loved the sucking up at Downton even more.  I hope Carson isn't fooled; he's so after his job.

Lines That Were So Good I Stopped Mid-Episode To Write Them Down:

"Unbridled joy" - Oh holy hell.  I found myself hoping upon hope that Hildy, Cari and Jennifer J were watching.  That just reeked of "Unflagging joy".  TOO hilarious.

"I know how fond you are of Lady Mary."  I've already covered this but had to mention it again.  Why not?  THEY do.  Every five seconds.

"Don't be defeatest, dear, it's very middle class."  Maggie Smith deserves every possible award for her snarkiness on this show.  I could watch her all day long.

"Can you manage without your stick?"  "You are my stick."  Oh. My. GOD that was amazing.  I am SO FRIGGIN HAPPY Matthew and Mary are finally getting together.  Well...sort of.  She is SO effed with Richard.  She's going to have to kill him.  Seriously.  Somebody better go fetch the rat poison at Ex. Mrs. (dead) Bates' house.

Last minute add-ons:

Poor Cora.  Is there nothing else she can do but writhe around with fever?  Two hours and she barely spoke!

O'Brien.  Damn, girl!  Are you an idiot?!  Shut the hell UP about the soap!!  Go to confession and call it a day!!

Matthew's mom:  Lorddddddd somebody shut her up.  She is on my LAST nerve.

I miss William.  Daisy needs to stop being such a baby and talk nicely about him to his dad.  Is it THAT hard?  She WAS his good friend, wasn't she?  I totally agreed with her before about them pushing her into doing something she wasn't comfortable with.  But that adorable fellow is dead now, girlie!  Just go with it!!!

OK that's it for now.  But I'm sure I'll think of something else before this night is over.  Stay tuned...

Monday, February 6, 2012

Give Peace a Chance

SPOILER ALERT:  Don't watch unless you've watched episode 5 on PBS or 6 in the UK.

OMG dying dying dying!  Matthew felt his leg!  Squeee!  I knew that was going to happen.  Poor Mary.  She is ridiculously screwed.  And so am I.  Because I'm realizing that NOTHING is ever going to get resolved on this show.  Ever.  It's like infinity blueballs.  Seriously.  WHAT am I going to do if Mary is forever engaged to Mr. "Don't ever blow me off or I'll tell the world your sad little Turkish secret."  And what if she never marries Matthew?  I can't BELIEVE they brought that pain in the ass Lavinia back again, too.  Ugh...she gives me the willies.  And frankly, I'm starting to think she gives Matthew the willies, too.  Poor Mary. (I can't believe I just said that!)  She must be SOOOO miserable but she can't show it because she's English and they don't wear their hearts on their sleeves.  (Well, unless you're Elizabeth Taylor...and then you just marry your sleeve.  Lord-a-mercy on her of course!)

But seriously, WHAT am I going to do if Mr. Bates doesn't marry Anna?  (Although I don't think I have to worry as the Ex Mrs. Bates is lying face down in the teacup pieces.)  And WHAT am I going to do if Edith never finds a man?  (Even one with a disfigured face whose hatred of their childhood German nanny is still questionable).  And what am I going to do if Sybil never dumps that insufferable Irish driver who can't be on the screen for two seconds without making me throw up in my mouth a little.

Moving on...I love how Thomas has resumed his spot downstairs at the staff nothing ever happened and he didn't purposely turn his hand into a donut.  He just sits there with that nasty assed look on his face, mumbling under his breath and chain smoking.  It's so hilarious, I don't know what to do with myself.

Lastly - MaMa.  OMG Maggie Smith is the greatest actress of all time, is she not?  I pray they get Helen Mirren and Dame Judy Dench on the show one of these days to be her BFFs and make me giggle in triplicate.