Monday, March 17, 2014

Season 4 Finale: That's It?

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched all of Season 4!!!  You've been warned! 

Thanks to KCTS9 in Seattle for this hilarity! 
OMG so they're all away in the (teeny little) London mansion house...and Thomas is skulking around wondering what's going on at Downton.  When the cat's away, the mice will play!  He's scary as hell in this capacity!!  Just another side of Thomas I'd like to know better.

Paul Giamatti - hilarious already.  Holy shiz.  I've waited all season (snicker...4 weeks?) to see him and he does NOT DISAPPOINT.  At some point, Tracey will have to do one of her patented John Adams impressions for y'all.  It's spot on.

So glad Daisy got to go to London!  They treat that poor girl like the scullery maid.  Oh...wait.
 They have one of those, too...and her position is actually higher, isn't it?


American Ethan: "Aren't you excited?"
Arthur, I love you. But I will
cut you off without a cent!
Daisy: "I'm never excited."

OMG Dowager Countess running into Tom and his socialist girlfriend??  That's awesome!!!  SO ARTHUR!!  "Marry Susan.  And cheat with the nobody from Queens!"

Wow! Check out this coming out party!!  Holy crap, Rose - no wonder she thinks nothing of hanging out with the Prince of Wales.  Dang, girl.  Whatchu doin' hanging with hottie American jazz singers when you could be gettin' some of THAT??  I'm sorry...but "hottie" + "can carry a tune" does not = "filthy rich."  ;)

OMG I love how rude they all are around the Americans. This is tremendous.  And you just know Cora's mom will get the last laugh.  HOW is it possible that MaMA grew up in the same house with these people?  They are a) sane and b) funny.

OMG Poor Edith.  I feel so bad for her.  She is sooooo hormonal.  This has postpartum written all over it.  Been there...nuttied up that.

Truer words were never said:

Cora: "I hate to lie."
Mary "I'll do it.  I don't mind lying."

Mr. Pamuk's rotting corpse will drink to that!!

Ahhh Lady Mary.  She's so predictable in her bitchiness.

Countess:  "I'm too tired for an evening of second hand emotion."  OMG does Julian Fellowes write that shit?  Because it is hilARious.

She's even funnier when she's being bitchy to Martha:

Martha:  "Well the gang's all here, I see." 
Violet:  "Is that american for 'hello'?"

OMG I TOTALLY called it.  I KNEW they'd ask Daisy to go to America.  Knew, knew, KNEW it!!!  And her dumb ass said "no".  Holy crap, would someone please explain to Daisy that opportunities like that only come along...NEVER.  Her life would be FUN in the US.  Shit.  She might even marry Harold.  (Um, forget I said that.)

OMG they're at Sampson's.  And his butler didn't think a thing of it.  "Come on in, y'all.  Sampson ain't here but I've got some socks to darn close the door on your way out."  OMG This is so exciting!

Rose:  "They say Men always hide things in their sock drawer."  LOL Rose.  You should know!

Thomas is soooo evil.  I love it.  Positively love it.  He's the most interesting person on this show.  Why can't we see more of him and his tricks?  Shit.  Bring back O'Brien to be his sidekick.  You never know...they didn't KILL her!

Jolly good work, Bates!  NICE pickpocketing.  That is awesome.  Bates has gone from holier-than-thou to Cat Burglar in no time!!  Do we even question whether he killed the rapist?  Survey says: NOPE!

Ugh - bummed we have to wait for more Downton...and hoping they'll spice it up a little more next season.  The Blake/Tony/Mary storyline?  SNOOZEFEST.  It's so ridiculous to think these guys would be fighting over her.  She's a) not stunning, b) not a virgin (think of the time period) and c) plummeting toward the dreaded MC: Middle Class!  OH YEAH...and she's a BEOTCH.  Why does Blake even want her?  Makes no sense to me.

My recommendations for next season:

1 - STOP making people chase Mary around.  Season 1 was Season 1.  Leave it alone.  How's about making MARY hook up with the American jazz singer?  Now THAT would be interesting.

2 - Rose is not Sybill, never will be.  We don't care what she does.  See Oliver on the Brady Bunch for more clarification.

3 - STOP FUCKING WITH BATES.  Bates used to be suave and good and a total hottie.  STOP MAKING HIM COMMIT CRIMES. I'm thinking someone needs to tell Brendan Coyle to visit the gym over this hiatus (no offense, Brendan, I'm carrying 2013 Christmas cookies on my ass, too)...and get back to being the Bates we know and lust after love.

4 - STOP FUCKING WITH ANNA.  She's sweet and kind.  And that's necessary with all that mean that goes on in that house.  Leave her alone.

5 - FUCK WITH THOMAS.  He needs more juice in his storyline.  GIVE IT TO HIM.  He is capable of handling it with ease.

6 - Daisy = boring.  Love her character, but she's secondary if not tertiary. Leave it that way.

7 - More:

- kookiness from Cora/MaMA
- bitchiness from the Dowager Countess
- hardships for Mary (taste of her own meds)
- relatives from America

I'll think on this one and get back to ya.