Oh MaMA

I would imagine I'm the kookiest person in this house.

Some Downton Funnies from Season 4, Episode 6

Edith:  "They still seem as keen as mustard."

Really Edith?  Really?  Exactly how keen is mustard?  (Of course I had to look it up and found this.  Pretty interesting, no?)

Um...question:

Since when is Bates the cobbler?  For the love of god, man.  Put DOWN those shoes and get up there and link PaPA's cuffs!  What do you think this is?  Scotland?  Such menial work for a servant of such high standing!  Pfft!

I don't like this opinionated socialist beotch who's constantly making snarkified comments to Tom.  WTF?  Get off his jock.  You hate the high class...and yet you're desperately interested in the high class.  Know what I think?  Jealous...party of you.

Tom:  "I don't believe in types.  I believe in people."  YOU GO, GUY!!!  So what, the rich are supposed to play nice with this chick...but she has no interested in playing nice with them.  Ew.

Tony isn't giving up on Mary, yo. "I find that both irritating and beguiling in equal measure."  Um, Mary?  I felt the same when you offed Mr. Pamuk, mmmkay?  Pipe down and be nice.

Sex, Lies and Telegram Tape

SPOILER ALERT:  The following are my thoughts while watching season 4, episode 6.

"That's not dirt! 
I want PAMUK-caliber dirt!"

OMG Thomas is so deliciously evil!  I love all the mystery surrounding his douchyness.  WHAT is his problem??  Why can't this guy ever just BE?  He's so miserable.  It's positively delectable!  They MUST give him more to do on a weekly basis.  I see his ass skulking toward the camera and get giddy with glee!

"Don't interrupt when I'm
trying to insult you, Izzie."

"A wonder you don't just set fire to the abby and dance 'round it!"  The Dowager countess is obsessed with making Isobel feel like crap most of the time.  And she does a lovely job of it. 

"I imagine I'm nuttier
than a fruitcake, dear."

Poor Edith is upset about not hearing from Gregson.  Never fear, Edith...MaMA is "sure it's just a failure of communication".  My lord, does that woman's brilliance never end?  

Ha!  Mrs Patmore!!  You randy vixen, you!!  Rudolph Valentino makes her "shiver all over"!!  And how about Mr. Carson's retort; "What a very disturbing thought."  That is tremendous.  I love how he just shits on everyone straight to their face, without giving it a second thought.  He's like your dad...but worse. 

Poor Mama.  She already committed to entertaining the ladies at a charity dinner tomorrow...but she's just so tired from sitting around reading books.  Can we give this poor woman a break?  It is NOT easy eating breakfast in bed every morning and being dressed by someone all day.  All the poor thing wants to do is sit at her night table and rub cream on her elbows.  Is that so wrong??? 

And how about the letters, saying that MaMA's brother has invested poorly??  And she abuses him for it!  What about her husband who knows as much about investing as Mary's kid and baby Sybie?? Lorddddddddd the judgments!!!

"If you don't seat us, Mr. Bates will kill you in your sleep."
"She's right.  I'll do it."

LOVE Anna and Mr Bates being seated because of Lady Grantham.  (Normally she's MaMA, but she commands my respect when she's helping the help.)   What a douchy maitre d'.  Anna and Mr. Bates have on their Sunday best!  What's his problem?  

You know...I can't help but wonder.  Doesn't everyone in town know each other ??  Wouldn't you think the maitre d would know Mr Bates and/or Anna...and know they work at Downton??  I get that Yorkshire was rather large...but how far would they have gone from home to go out to dinner?  

Sad...yet hilarious: 

PaPA: "My most darling girl, what's the matter?"

Edith: "But I'm not your most darling girl, am I?

You GO, girl!!!  MENTION that elephant in the room for once!!  And oooh PaPA - you don't know the half of it.  Gregson is a lot more than a missing chap, m'lord.  He's your fourth most darling girl's baby daddy!  Run and tell THAT!!!  (Poor Edith.  Even dead Sybil comes before her.)

"I'm so bored with me'storyline."

How about Alfred leaving??  I can't figure out this storyline at all (pronounced "eh-tool".)  Why the back-and-forth about him leaving?  Kick him out and get on with it!  Or make him stay!  It's really not that important, now, is it?  I guess that's the best they can come up with for Daisy these days?  Her handlers are probably writing it into her contract that they have to give her a few lines in every episode.  I wish they'd give her more.  I really like her character and she's wasted while she's hidden away with the bread all day. 

Early 20th century English rich people question of the day:

Why is the gong rung at 7 if they don't go to drawing room until 8?  Riddle me that, please. 

Look at Molesley!  Serve the servants!  That rules!  Better watch out, Thomas will tell you he doesn't like it and make you fetch him another! 

"I'm not UNhappy...I'm just not quite ready to be happy."  More words of wisdom from Lady Mary.  I do understand them, though.  I wonder what's going to happen with the cutie pie she blew off a few weeks ago.  If he shows up at Downton with his bride, I'll hurl. 

"I think they're all nuts.
But they pay well."

OMG here we go.  The American band leader (Jack Ross) is here and all hell is going to break loose. Have you never thought of visiting Africa?"  Really, Carson.  Does that even make sense?  Why would you ask him that?  Did you forget to put your manners back on after your last discussion with Molesley?

"She loves me."  "My elbows need cream."

OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE Napier - the dude who came to analyze Downton with Charles Blake (the little douchey man Lady Mary hates).  Napier's PERFECT for Mary.  He's kindof like Matthew in that he's pretty OVER it all.  Love him AND his dimples.  He's so Hugh Grant-esque.

(OMG HOW awesome would it be if Kilwillie Julian Fellowes could convince Hugh Grant to come on and play Mary's new beau?!)

Come on Edith - maMA knew about Pamuk...surely you can tell her you've got a bun in the oven!  She's a very forgiving woman!  Espesh when she's sipping her funny tea.  Opium.  It's not just for breakfast anymore!  (NOTE:  No, there is no evidence that MaMA's tea is spiked; I just like to pretend it is.  How else does one account for the plethora of ridiculous things that come out of her mouth?)

Band leader: "I've been so well looked after here."  CLEARLY, sir.  You'd have been even more well looked after had Lady Mary not caught your ass down in the servants quarters with her cousin.  You're lucky it was her.  She isn't nearly as judgmental as the rest of them...what with her dalliance with Mr. Pamuk and all. 

Don't you love how Mary yells at the top of her lungs "Is anyone still awake down here?"  Well they are now!!!  I'd have thought they'd all have come running in their night caps.

Can't wait for Sunday!!