I'm All Caught Up!

SPOILER ALERT:  Don't read unless you've finished Season 2 - Episode 4 (or three if you count the first two episodes as one.) 

Oh my god!  We just finished!  I am beside myself!  Thank God it's actually on tomorrow night because I don't know what I would do with myself if I couldn't check in with Anna and Mr. Bates...Edith...Violet...and the rest of the gang.

It's always "Lady Mary,
Lady Mary, Lady Mary!" 

Geez - I haven't blogged since Season 1!  Can you believe all these men are convalescing at Downton?!  It's crazy!  (Said like Honey Badger Randall)  They are all OVER the place!  You'd think Jan Edith - would be able to land herself a man in those kinds of conditions!  Girlfriend must need a shower or something.  Seriously now...she's all up in their bizznazz with their letters ("this one's open but no one opened it, I swear"...wink wink... "By the way, how's your mother doing in Lancashire?  And the Corgis?)  I just don't see why SHE isn't the one Mrs. Hughes is pulling off the floor in Spare Bedroom Number 17.  It's raining men, honey!  Whatcha waitin' for?!

I have to admit - I did love it when she was recognized for being so good with the patients.  She deserves to be noticed once in a while...instead of Marcia Lady Mary - lest she find herself down at the farm, lovin' up on someone else's non-tractor-driving husband.

OK Next...Lady Maaaaary.  Bitch, PLEASE!  You are beside yourself because Matthew's MIA (for what it's worth, I would be too.  Yum.)  and then he shows up and you're all  "Oh hello cousin.  I'm glad to see you.  Want to see the china pattern I've picked out with Sir Richard?"  Come ON ALREADY!  Just pull his ass into the broom closet (or Mrs. Hughes' sitting room, as everything seems to go on in there) and tell him how you feel!!  It's obvious he loves you...what are you WAITING for?!?

Where ya runnin' off to
this week, Mr. Bates? 

Moving on...I am SO glad Mr. Bates is back.  I was beyond upset when he left and thinking "Ummmm...has he taken another valet job on another show?!"  His wife is despicable and I hope we get to see her rude awakening soon.  Why don't they just throw her in the staff quarters with O'Brien and Thomas Sergeant Barrow?  They'd have her yelling "Uncle" in no time.  You KNOW she's going to bring her ass back to Downton and start blabbing and blackmailing in a matter of episodes.  I fear poor Anna is destined to be without Bates for all of eternity.

And what's up with Sybil?  There seem to be no redeeming qualities in Branson, other than the fact that he professes his love for her every five seconds.  Is it me or do they have ZERO chemistry together?  Ugh.  And every time he starts whining about joining the effort in Ireland, I need a Tums.  And I'm Irish!!  I just don't see Sybil running off with him...but stranger things have happened.

LORDDDDD stranger things have happened.

Please don't die at war or
I'll feel even more guilty! 

Like - for instance - Daisy's mute stare every time William tells her she's his girl.  It's SO uncomfortable, I want to crawl under my couch!  And Mrs. Patmore seems to be right there - every stinkin' time - with a hand full of pate and an eyeful of "Don't you dare tell him the truth or I'll beat ya with my rolling pin, lass!"

And Violet.  Holy hell.  She makes me laugh SO hard.  Today's hilarious commentary was the following, whilst discussing Sir Richard's blackmailing of Lavinia's uncle:

Mary:   He lives in a tough world.

Violet:  And will you be joining him there?

I swear, I laugh so hard at everything that comes out of Maggie Smith's mouth...I wish I could zap myself into Downton and sit next to her at dinner.  I'd keep my mouth shut and my eyes and ears open, that is for sure. 

Batshit crazy?
Nah...Just American.

Lastly - Cora.  Is it me, or does she seem like she's one foot into the funny farm at all times?  When the show first started, I thought she was sick because she never comes down to breakfast and was always laying around in her dressing gown having meals in bed.  But now she's always around - dressed to the nines - and smiling uncomfortably no matter whether Carson is brushing MyLord's shoulders or Mrs. Byrd is feeding the veterans with the Army's money.  No matter - girlfriend is smiling.  I wish I could ask Lafayette from True Blood what he thought of her.  "That sista be one crazy bitch, Hooka".  Can't you just hear him now?!

OK - more soon...tomorrow night, actually!  TGIS!!!!