Does Anybody Remember Laughter?

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched the first episode of season 4.

The following are my thoughts as I was watching the show (be afraid):

I'll be back.  Right after I
realize I'm not going to
be the next Bond girl. 

OMG!!!  O'Brien LEFT!!! For the same DUMBASS reason Matthew left!!  She got bored didn't love it anymore!!!  Oh holy hell, actors can be stupid sometimes.  This takes the cake.  Did they learn NOTHING from David Caruso???

You have just got to LOVE MaMA's reaction.  "What will we do?"  That really means "Who will unclasp my $50k necklace while I rub cream onto my elbows????"  THANK GOD FOR MRS HUGHES!!!  She saved the day, did she not?  There will be no self unclasping around HERE, thankyouverymuch.

Daddy wears suits now, darling.
He's a very important something
or other around Mummy's house.

Is it me...or is Branson quite comfy at the breakfast table with the newspaper??  SOMEONE seems to have settled in quite nicely with all the snots he used to drive around and plan revolts against.

How does PaPA plan to run Downton "for the baby"?  Wasn't he the one who almost ran it into the ground - for himself - a few short months ago??  (And what baby, by the way?  That kid is kept under major wraps.)

That's right, London bitches.
EDITH'S back in town. 

Me:  "I think this is the year of Edith!!"
Hubby:  (snicker)  "I think you're right."

LOL  PaPA is so transparent.  "Don't ask Tom about his job, Mary!  He's the loser Irishman that I tolerate living in my house!  You just sit there and feel like shit and concentrate on getting better."

Miss O'Brien left...so now Thomas has to spar with Nanny McPhee.  It's positively delicious.

We've propped him up like Bernie.
Now eff off before I eat your head.

OMG Mary is more selfish than ever, I see.  Someone needs to go dig up Mr. Pamuk and bring him around to calm her estrogen down a bit.  WHAT an absolute bitch!  Grief or not!  How DARE you speak to Mr. Carson like that!!  He's like your second father!!!

Wake me up, before you go go!
I don't wanna miss it when
Mary's head explodes...

CHOOSE LIFE!!!  Oh you can't MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!   They did NOT just have a 5 minute conversation about Mary that resembled a Wham song from 1985!!!!!

GO MRS CRAWLEY!!!  Her high horse attitude is actually refreshing for once.  That poor woman has it more together than Mary, who never seemed to give much of a shit about Matthew in the first place.  "What?  Matthew's gone?  NOW who will sit at my feet and offer me the moon?"

Seriously?  No bedtime antics with Mr and Mrs Bates on Valentine's Day???  (THANK YOU LORDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!  One sight of the two of them going at it in my lifetime is more than enough, thank you.  Oy.  I love them...but keep them in the hallway.)

Clearly Nanny West is no Nanny McPhee!  Bye Bye!  Don't you LOVE how they tricked us with Thomas??  I really thought he was being a douche!  Or...WAS he...and he just happened to get lucky when MaMA walked in on her calling poor Sybil's daughter a "cross breed"??  (Being a cross breed, myself, I almost tinkled at that comment.)

I love how MaMA is all "Nanny West is not to be left alone with the children...not for one minute" with that worried/angry/half-baked look on her face.  Here's an idea, cupcake...why don't YOU take care of your grandchildren for a little while???

OK...PaPA is a riot.  "Are you sure you have time for lunch, Lady Mary, what with all the sitting around doing nothing you have to do today??"  ROFLMAO  I am going to laugh about that all week.

Poor MaMA.  She is very vexed.  That blouse truly was a favorite.  Ooooh you KNOW this new maid is trouble with a capital T!  She's the new O'Brien!  Which is such a shame because O'Brien was much better suited to cause trouble with Thomas.  There was a dichotomy there that just can't be matched.  Watch them write this chick off a second time.

They'd better find someone better fast, too.  Mrs. Hughes has way too much of Carson's business to stick her nose in!  She doesn't have time for unclasping $50k necklaces!!

Mr. Molesley looks like Mr. Olsen.  Is it me?

And why is Mr. Molesley bouncing around from wealthy house to wealthy house?  For the love of God...Mrs. Crawley hired a prostitute and took in some coughing dude who Mr. Carson couldn't stand...yet she can't find poor Molesley a job?  Pony UP, woman!  Or the Downton crew will find a way to kick YOU out of town, too!  You can't expect THEM to hire poor Molesley!  They're POOR now!  Sortof...

Can't say I'm thrilled about the lack of lines for the Dowager Countess this evening.  Oh she had a few zingers "I don't see why you should have to eat from a tray"...but nothing all that noteworthy.  Maybe they're saving her best lines for the next time Shirley Maclaine is on the show.  And seeing as I wasn't all that thrilled with Shirley Maclaine's character (as much as I love Shirley!)...I hope that isn't the case.

Favorite moment of the episode?  That awkward nightmare between Mary and Edith on the stairs. Tention.  Cut.  Knife.  That's all I'm sayin'...

OMG HOW are we going to wait for next week???

Paul Giamatti on Season 4?!?

Shut...UP!!!  TRACEY is going to go NUTS over THIS!

Downton Abbey - FACEBOOK Style!

This is one of the most hilarious things you will ever see if you are a Downton fan.  Enjoy!  (And thanks to Jennifer for reminding me to put it on the blog!)

Goodbye Season 3 of Downton Abbey! We'll Miss You!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have finished Season 3.  If you have not...then turn back NOW.  

Hollywood, here I come!

It's taken me a longggggg time to be able to sit down and discuss the end of Season 3.  I knew Dan Stevens was not going to stay forever.  I just didn't know his departure would come so soon! Did everyone else??  Am I just "the last to know"???

I read that he was offered a 3 year contract when the series started, and decided not to renew when the time came.  Planned on doing 3 years...and that was it.  My question?

WHY?!?  (screamed like Nancy Kerrigan)

Has anyone seen my career?

Why don't these stars recognize a good thing when it's staring them straight in the eye?  He's a relative newcomer!  Why leave NOW?!  I get that you want to do other things...might not want to be pigeon holed...yada yada.  But DUDE!  Did you not see what happened to to David Caruso?!?  That could be YOU!  20 years from now, you could find yourself singing showtunes in some sad little bar attached to a Holiday Inn in a shitty part of London, taking requests and talking about the good old days back on Downton Abbey.  Seriously.  And now they've KILLED YOUR ASS OFF.  You can't come back, even if you wanted to.  Couldn't you have taken Kilwillie aside and asked him to send you back up to Inveraray Castle ("Duneagle, my ass) to learn the estate-running tricks of the trade??  "Bye Mary...don't wait up!" (not that she would anyway).

I am just heartbroken.  Matthew was the best thing about that show.  Well...next to the Dowager Countess, that is.  And what about his mother?  Oh she is going to be devastated.  I wonder if she'll be too upset to help the ladies of the evening anymore.  Maybe she'll ship Ethel off to go frolic with the Grantham's 16 year old sleazy cousin.

MARY, MARY, MARY!!! 

And poor Edith.  Can this poor girl ever get a break?  Why are they doing this to us her?  It's maddening.  Just find her a nice old chap and let her get married for the love of all that's holy.  It really isn't that difficult, is it?  Are they just going to continue to dangle these unattainable men in front of us her for the rest of the series?

If Kilwillie hadn't had me killed off,
you wouldn't be in this mess for season 4. 

SPOILER ALERT:  I am about to gossip about something someone told me about next season.  It's not really much of a spoiler but just in case you want to know ZERO...skip the next paragraph.

I hear they are bringing in someone for Mary for next season.  The casting is allegedly down to a few men.  It's too bad they killed Mr. Pamuk. He was tasty.  I could have gotten over Matthew a lot faster had I been able to look at Mr. Pamuk on a weekly basis.

Moving on...  WHAT happened to Cora's mother?  I can't lie - I wasn't thrilled with Shirley Maclaine's character...but the season is now over and we haven't heard from her again.  I thought she was coming on for good.

MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!

Glad to see Mr. Bates is back for good...but Lordddddddddddd my eyes.  Ever since we were treated to the "love scene" between he and Anna, I have not been able to keep anything down but liquids whenever they show them being cutesy together.  Blech.  Mr. Bates needs a makeover right quick.

Hi. I'm beautiful.
Any questions?

I love Thomas.  I just want you to know that.  He's so broken and torn inside.  The poor soul.  He would be such a different person with the right influences.  Not that mean old O'Brien who whispers in his ear - or whispers in others' ears to get them to be mean to him.  He's obviously grappling with his sexual orientation - and it seems to me he probably had a rough childhood.  He just needs to positive guidance!  I was happy Jimmy reached out at the end.  Thomas deserves his respect.  He made a mistake and paid the price.  Now it's time to MAN UP and be decent to him.  (Jimmy gets on my last nerve.  I can't quite put my finger on why.)

I was SO HAPPY that HO got fired.  Ick.  Poor Tom is trying so hard to do what Sybil would have wanted.  That ho just wanted to hook up with him and get HERself a place at the richie-rich table upstairs.  Ain't no amount of training would have taught THAT bitch how to use 7 different forks.  No way.

OK that is all for now.  Looking forward to season 4.  If you are missing Downton, try an upstairs/downstairs show that is set in modern day...in a much smaller manse...with Scots instead of English...called Monarch of the Glen.  It's more of a dramedy and the scenery is fantastic.  And it stars Julian Fellowes, himself...aka Kilwillie!  (Ever ask yourself where he got the idea for Downton?  Mmm hmm.)

Girls Against the Boys

SPOILER ALERT - I have watched 5 episodes of Season 3. 

Holy crap this show just keeps getting better and better.

This weirdness between Thomas and "Jimmy" is bizarre.  Why doesn't James just tell Thomas to back off?

"The Frolicker"

Loved when Mrs. Patmore said, "Do I look like a frolicker?" LOL SO FUNNY.  Mr. Carson had a stick up his ass during this entire episode.  He's gripping the past just like PaPA and it's not going to get either of them anywhere.  Times are-a-changin'!  They better get with it!

The Dowager was also very ON this week.  Loved when she saw Ethel.  "I suppose she has an appropriate costume for every activity!"  I almsot fell off my chair!  I jumped up - ran over to my charging laptop - and typed that line immediately!!!

OMG that Alfred is a douchecanoe of epic proportions.  He thinks he's better than all of them.  And did he speak up when Carson was dressing down James?  No, he did not.  I'm afraid Daisy is going to move to William's father's farm...and I'll miss her!  Don't get me wrong...it's a fantastic opportunity...and I hope she takes it.  But I just feel so bad for her.  She digs Alfred...but Alfred digs the new chick.  And the new chick digs James...you just can't win. (Make sure you hear that to the tune of "Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band in your head.)

Couldn't PaPA have sprung for a
few more flowers?  You'd think he
was losing his house or something!

Lady Mary didn't have much going on in this episode and I was pretty glad.  She is borderline offensive in her annoyingness.  Where were she and Edith coming from when they were walking through the fields?  Oh right...nowhere.  I'm surprised Lady Mary didn't mind getting her shoes dirty.

And I'm hoping Edith takes a job at the paper.  Looks like she's going to - and I bet she takes up with her boss over there (who we saw in the scenes for next week.)  Lordddddddd Edith needs a boyfriend...or SOMETHING to cheer her poor ass up.  Well...not "poor", per se.  As long as Matthew is around...

Which brings me to Matthew.  Ugh.  PaPA is SO POMPOUS!  Matthew is like "Look - just let me go and fix up the tenants' farms and houses a la Monarch of the Glen and you stay here and do whatever it is that you do (which seems to be zilch.  I loved when PaPA said "I better go and start my morning" as if that entails anything more than walking the grounds and inviting someone to dinner.)

Poor Cora.  Poor Tom.  Poor anyone who misses Sybil, including me.  And poor Ethel.  Girlfriend just needed to make a buck, yeah?  Who knew she's be less welcome than the a leper with the plague.

And what's happening next week?

MR. BATES COMES HOME!!  YEYYYYY!!!  I can't wait!!  Wonder how long it'll take for Thomas to trip him...steal his stuff...or at least spit in his soup while he's looking the other way.  Anna won't let that happen.  No way.  She will grab Thomas' privates and twist.  Girlfriend's a mama bear.  Roarrrrrr!

My Baby

SPOILER ALERT:  I've watched 5 episodes of Season 3.

OK FIRST - the new kitchen's assistant better keep her mitts OFF Alfred.  He's Daisy's.

OMG Mary's been married like...a week...and she lays around in bed until noon, eating breakfast. It's hilarious.  Like mother, like daughter.  Damn...wish things were like that today.

LOL  Mr. Carson is freaking out because Mrs. Crawley hired a Ethel, aka; a prostitute.  This is delicious.  And I love how Mr. Mosely is the one to bring the cheery news.

Oh geez - poor Sybil!  That fool doctor is going to kill her!  Let Dr. Scot help her, stat!

Maggie Smith line of the night:  "A woman of my age can face reality far better than most men."

OH MY GOD, SYBIL'S DEAD!!!  Oh, I'm so sad.  I've gone through five tissues already!!!  Horrible!!!  PaPA should have LISTENED to Dr. Scotty!!!  I'm SO glad MaMA spoke up and told him so, too.  And in front of the whole family.  That was awesome.  You GO, girl!

And WHAT was that comment from the prison guard about that witch who hates Bates?!  Is she dead?!

Holy crap, I can't believe what a horrendous turn this episode took.  And WOW - let me tell you - I can't believe this aired months ago in the UK and I never stumbled upon it online!  I truly do surf with one eye closed.

Downton Abbey Season Three is Upon Us!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched 3 episodes of season 3. 

Wow - Can't believe we're back in the swing of things!

My American salary is higher
than your British salary.

So far I'm not all that thrilled with the character of Martha, played by the ever-awesome Shirley MacLaine.  Is that what the English really think/thought of Americans?  Better yet, is that how Americans really were at that time?  Oh man...I wanted to say "Shut UP about how great America is!"  It got painful to listen to after a while!  It reminded me of the time I was (lucky enough to be) staying at Dromoland Castle in my ancestral home, County Clare, Ireland.  My friend and I - along with our husbands - were sipping Irish coffees while the men played chess.  (It's just that kind of place.)  So these extremely loud Americans came in and were going on and on at top of their lungs...and everyone there stared at them like "Do shut up, please!"  And the more annoyed people got, the louder and drunker they got.  Yeah.  It was embarrassing to say the least.

Where are the many zingers from Maggie Smith that we've seen the last 2 seasons?  They are totally underutilizing her.  Is that because they're trying to wean us off her before she leaves?  And now I'm reading that she's not leaving...so I don't get it.  The woman is FUNNY.  Write more  funny for her!

Excuse me, do you have the time? 

OK...now...did anyone really think that wedding between Edith and Sir Anthony was going to take place? When she walked up and said "Good Afternoon", my husband howled.  And I love how he was originally brought into the fold as a possible suitor for Mary after her dalliance with Mr. Pamuk...yet now, all the sudden, he's too old for Edith?  What's that all about??  I love the two of them together.  Although...this season it seems like Edith is just in it for the marriage...whereas he really has feelings for her.  Am I making this up in my head?  This also makes me think they're going to go on of two ways from here.  Either she'll end up with Anthony...or she's going to meet someone else and fall head over heels.  THAT would be a good storyline...so I'm kindof hoping for it.

Darling, give PaPA
your inheritance or I go
back to the boring hair. 

And speaking of falling head over heels...does Mary even like Matthew anymore?  She's like the black widow...only he's still alive.  Wonder why we didn't get to see the wedding.  It was over in a blip.  Kindof like Mary's feelings for Matthew.
All she seems to be interested in is the money he's going to inherit from Lavinia's father.  (By the way, Lavinia also played Trinity on Sons of Anarchy and I'm finding it a bit cray cray as their characters are wayyyyyy different from one another...but I digress.)

And speaking of Matthew's money...I can't help making comparisons to the movie Arthur this season.  Every time there is mention of them losing Downton because Matthew won't take the money, I giggle myself silly.  All I can think of is Dudley Moore saying "I took the money, I'm not stupid."  Or "Will you make me a tunafish sandwich?"  and "Then we won't spit" when Liza Minnelli tells him they fine you on the subway if you spit.

I'm hot as shit, even
in this stupid hat. 

OK so this new feud between Thomas and O'Brien is both delicious and upsetting.  I love it - and hate it - all at once!  I think I like it better when they're scheming together.  It's more fun.  Now it's like a nail-biter every time I turn it on!

And let's all stop pretending that Rob James Collier isn't the hottest thing on the show...because he is.  It's like a dirty little secret.  I mean LOOK at the man!  ---------------------------------->

And WHAT is up with Mr. Bates?  Sometimes I wonder if he's guilty.  I'm thinking he's about to blow off Anna.  That would be so sad.  He's the only thing keeping her together these days.  He's just so...indifferent.  He used to be  happy and full of life.  Not anymore.  And I get it; he's in jail for cripes sake.  BUT - he's almost wicked now.  Why is that?  I think he needs a little more hubba hubby time with Anna if you know what I mean.  (Have I always been this corny?  Or is it just today?  That last statement was pure cheese.)

There's so much more...  Daisy and the new footman.  What's going to happen there??  She is sweet on him...it's so obvious.  WHY didn't she like poor William?  He looked exactly like this new dude, Alfred...except he wasn't 7 feet tall. (Sheesh. Alfred? No wonder I couldn't remember his name.)

"Mrs. Patmore, Is Cora even sane?"
"Nooo, lass, everybody knows
she's batshit crazy, that one is."

And poor Mrs Hughes.  What a scare!  I love how she and Mrs. Patmore were besties while she was going through everything.  When exactly are she and Carson going to get together?  It's so obvious they're "fond" of one another.  Put the bedsheets down for one second and have a real conversation that doesn't involve the china or Lord Granthom's socks.

Sunday should be good, y'all...stay tuned!